From a young age, I always knew I was ‘different.’ I didn’t have the same reactions to things as my friends, and I found their behaviors interesting but confusing. I remember studying and copying other girls when I was only in grade one. As I grew up, I had multiple experiences of being bullied to the point of having to switch schools in eighth grade. I passed my classes well and could keep up with my peers. Still, I had many intense and traumatic experiences due to not understanding social cues, being impulsive and sensitive, and unable to defend myself.
In high school, I attracted a lot of good and bad attention, but I was lonely and found it hard to keep friends. In my early twenties, I lived independently and attended university, achieving two degrees with a 4.0 grade point average. I struggled in many jobs until I started working with neurodivergent children, teens, and their parents, which was when I discovered my passion and calling. Then, in my thirties, I married, had two children, and homeschooled them for many years. During that time, we relocated to numerous cities, and I had the opportunity to meet many new people and refine my social skills. I learned how to have healthy, fulfilling friendships.
When my eldest child was eight years old and I was forty-one, we were both diagnosed with Autism level one (ASD 1.) A few years later, my youngest son was diagnosed with ADHD. Observing his behaviors and traits led me to recognize the same qualities in myself. I began researching AuDHD, which is a new diagnosis describing people who have Autism and ADHD. I discovered that many Autistic individuals also have ADHD, with estimates ranging from 50 to 70% according to research (Hours et al., 2022,)1 though findings differ. This helped explain a lot about me because, by that time, I had noticed many of my Autistic traits didn’t seem as impactful as they were for my daughter; for example, I didn’t struggle socially or with communication as much at her age, I had more interests, and my sensory sensitivities weren’t as strong as hers.
It was the same thing with my son; I had his ADHD characteristics, such as a short attention span for subjects I found uninteresting, bursts of positive energy, executive dysfunction, chronic lateness, and deep sensitivity. Still, these traits were less pronounced in me than in him. I seemed to manage myself better, thanks to my organizational skills, which is a common gift of Autism. I realized that while contradicting each other, Autism and ADHD can balance each other out. The AuDHD struggle lies in creating a life with adequate routine and stimulation, which can be a bit of a paradox.
I regard having Autism and ADHD as a special gift, which gives me a deep understanding of the Autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD experiences. My lifelong fascination with psychology and spirituality, social work background, and extensive experience working with people on the spectrum have led me to become skilled at coaching and counseling neurodivergent and highly sensitive people, enhancing their interpersonal skills, and helping them overcome challenges so they can experience a better life.
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