Ever since I returned to live in my home country, I’ve been healing at a rapid pace. When I was in Mexico, it was an exciting, busy, and social time. I learnt so much about myself and other people. I had many wonderful, life-changing experiences, and I connected with nature in special ways. I swam with dolphins and paddle-boarded with humpback whales, I hiked regularly in the jungle and the mountains, and took daily long walks on the beach. I connected deeply with the Pacific Ocean and the beautiful people of Mexico.
I learned how the majority of people in the world live, and how privileged I am. I was humbled and developed patience and greater compassion for others. My children went from being kids to teenagers, and living in a foreign country helped shape them into the wonderful human beings that they are today. It was a magical adventure and an incredible learning experience for all of us.
I was also extremely fortunate to have formed a few close friendships that have become essential to my life. Socially, though, I’ve realized that living in Mexico for the last three and a half years was a bit like being back in high school. There were limited English-speaking people for us to connect with, so we had to make the best of the available options. My people pleaser came out in full force, and I found myself occasionally thinking about people who weren’t that interested in me. Now that I know them, I recognize that we weren’t aligned, but at the time, I took their lack of interest as a sign that there was something wrong with me.
I noticed who was in the exclusive group and forced myself to engage with them even though I didn’t always enjoy it. I spoke with many people who I didn’t really want to speak to, because I felt it was necessary for my survival in a small town in a foreign country.
Living in Mexico was a paradigm-shifting experience for which I am forever grateful. At the same time, I’m also glad it’s behind me. It reminds me of how we sometimes look back on high school, with a mix of appreciation and relief. We might remember the good parts fondly, but also recognize that we couldn’t truly be ourselves until we left and grew into who we were meant to be. That’s exactly how I feel about my time there.
Now that I’m back in Canada, I’m in a new location sixteen hundred miles away from the previous province I lived in. So, while I feel comforted to be back in a familiar culture, I’m in a new city and haven’t made any friends yet, so it doesn’t feel like “home.” I’ve had moments of doubt about whether I should have just returned to Ontario. However, because I have a photographic memory and am highly energetically sensitive, I prefer to live in a fresh, new place. I know when someone is thinking about me, whether it’s good or bad, I feel their thoughts knocking at my etheric door, and it can be very distracting.
I was raised to deny myself and to be of service to others above all else, so I still occasionally feel a bit of guilt when I don’t respond to everyone who wants to connect with me. I’m learning to get over this. Being physically far away from everyone I know is helping. I’ve been able to focus on myself and my family, and it’s been a healing experience.
I’ve had psoriasis ever since my daughter was born fifteen years ago, and despite trying all kinds of diets, detoxes, supplements, chlorine dioxide solution for months, colonics, therapy, shadow work, exercise, and lots of sunshine, it has persisted until now. I recall hearing about people who’ve had psoriasis for many years spontaneously healing, and I’ve always comforted myself with the thought that one day it will happen to me. Well, it’s finally happening.
Since I’ve arrived in Canada, my usual clean diet has gone out the window, and I’ve been eating wheat, dairy, and sugar. I also haven’t gone in the sun at all. But these things that usually make a difference aren’t. I quit drinking alcohol (August 11, 2024) and quit smoking cannabis (April 11, 2025), but I still drink coffee and take benzodiazepines occasionally to manage anxiety. I also started taking Omega-3 fish oil. The psoriasis I had has turned into dry skin, and now the dry skin is returning to normal. I believe the number one reason this is happening is that I am less stressed than I’ve been before.
The primary reason people develop psoriasis is that they are living a life that is not in alignment with their soul. They are doing things and connecting with people who are taking more energy than they are giving. The red psoriasis is anger and resentment at ourselves for not protecting our time and space.
It doesn’t surprise me that some of the kindest people I have met have been those with psoriasis. These are people who consistently place others’ needs ahead of their own and force themselves to do things their soul doesn’t want to do. Psoriasis is a physical manifestation of self-hatred. Its message to others is: “Can’t you see I’m not well?” and “Leave me alone!” When we aren’t connected enough with our soul and aren’t aware of our true desires, our body will speak for us.
Even though I’m hundreds of miles away from all the places I’ve ever lived, I can still feel people I know thinking about me. However, instead of it being a loud banging at my door, it is a quiet little knock, which I’m learning to ignore. When I’m in close physical proximity to people I love or have soul contracts with, I feel my energy pulling in their direction when they think of me or long to spend time with me, and it’s tough to ignore.
Since I’ve spent my entire life being a people pleaser, desperate for love, approval, and validation from others, I’ve acquired many acquaintances and cultivated a large number of friendships, which consume a significant portion of my time and energy. I’m grateful for all the people who make me smile, and even thankful for the ones who’ve made me cry, as they have taught me how to love myself more. It’s all good in the hood, but I’m enjoying a break from the drama.
Having a physical proximity where I don’t know anyone except my immediate family is giving me the space I’ve always needed to heal. I now have time to focus on myself and my passions. I don’t feel obligated to do things that make others I care for happy, but that deplete my energy.
When I go out in public, I don’t have bad memories anywhere I go. I don’t have to worry about bumping into people who dislike me because they believe lies spread by someone vindictive from my past. Instead, everywhere I go is fresh. I get to be seen for who I am in each moment, instead of being judged based on preconceived notions or past choices that don’t reflect who I am. No one I encounter thinks badly of me, and that makes me feel safe. My life right now is like a giant empty canvas just waiting to be painted. So, I’ve decided not to rush, and I’m just enjoying this interim period, this glorious space where I can breathe and focus on connecting more deeply with myself and my children.
The longer I stay in this empty yet promising space, the stronger I connect with myself, and this will enable me to make better decisions about who and what I want to paint on my canvas. Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit understimulated and slightly lonely, so I know this quiet time will eventually come to an end, but I’m going to hang on for as long as possible, because I deserve this.
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